Monday, December 20, 2010

WANTED: Dream Team Applicants

I tried to explain to a friend of mine recently that I needed a 'Dream Team', AKA - a group of friends; women (and men too) who will be supportive of my journey and I supportive of theirs.

This is not the ordinary friend position, but a position that may be hard to take sometimes - for both parties. You may not want to say what you know I need to hear but will say it anyway because my life is at stake and when I say my life I mean my ability to fulfill my dreams which is just that. I may not like what you say to me nor you what I say to you but you KNOW that it is without malice and only with the intent of our being prosperous in our endeavors.

There in lies the problem.

My friend was against all that. She wanted soft words and go along to get along type vibes from her friends, not "Now you know that will not be productive to your goal of..." type vibes.

Reminded her too much of her parental units...I guess....lol

Well, I don't have that parent anymore to do that to me: Check me, that is. And as an adult, the choices I want to make from here on out as far as friends are concerned have to count. Not just towards my fun having quotient in life but supportive of my ability to fulfill my dreams.

I need my friends to be real like my friend who recently said to me, "((in your uncles voice)) how long are you going to keep doing this ish..." And man was she right! I needed that reality check and I love a friend who is unafraid to do so when needed to save a friend's life.

Yes, I said save my life, because the mind is where everything begins. If you can conceive it (conceptualize it in your mind in any fashion) you can achieve it (or not achieve anything at all depending on the slant of your conceptualization) and I was on the wrong end of the spectrum in my thinking.

The original idea came to me at a Soul Purpose WOW Conference. One of the speakers said to be successful in this endeavor you will have to tighten your circle. Everyone will not be going along for the ride. You need friends that are willing to pray with you in morning at the very least once a week and check in with you on your goals and dreams, and you theirs. It HAS TO BE RECIPROCAL and REAL!

They have to be unafraid to challenge your stinking thinking and you have to take it without feeling like you are under attack (DO NOT DEFEND YOURSELF!!) AND SO DO THEY! I don't know if I have friends like that... Well, I have a few but they don't even know what I want to do (I don't think)...I know for sure that there is no one in my life right now who supports me in that way.

I do it for other friends of mine, but they sometimes get defensive then they have to think about it and come back and retract whatever crazy mess they said or ways they behaved...

But I want to have friends who understand that I AM ONLY ABOUT THEIR SUCCESS AND I NEED THEM TO BE ABOUT MINE! SO that WE can make IT!!!

I recently read an article in a county women's paper entitled On Purpose Woman... Side note- there are No Coincidences in this universe - the name of my entrepreneurial endeavor is Soul On Purpose and my parent company is Soul Purpose. THERE IS PURPOSE IN MY LIFE (if there is nothing else). AMEN.

In this article the author, Lisa Stearns, does a bang-up job of spelling out what this relationship should look like and breaks down a few simple rules:

1. Keep the end result in mind and be consistent in your support. This includes supporting yourself.

2. Work through the challenges involved in making this change (in your life, or something that you would like to accomplish) by tuning out the naysayers, and don't become a naysayer yourself.

3. Seek like-minded individuals who will support and assist you, who see your vision and who stand behind you in reaching for your dream.

ABOVE ALL BE PART OF A DREAM TEAM - DREAM MAKER!

I want to add a couple more to this list:

4. Its okay to have more than one dream team. Perhaps working on no more than two or three at a time, but if you have disparate goals that you are trying to accomplish, you may need to employ different friends for different goals and overlap of these groups are encouraged.

5. Naysayers are one thing but there are people who are saboteurs and sometimes unknowingly they will insidiously erode your will or habits in ways that are counterproductive. (Drinking, drugging, sleeping around or encouraging you to do so are all sabotage in addition to anything that counters what you are trying to do - ex. You are trying to eat more healthily buying organic they make comments like, "Isn't that expensive?" or "There isn't any differences in regular and organic, but the price!"). They don't say you can't do something or won't do something, they lead you astray of your goals either out of hate of your goals and abilities or lack of their own to pursue.

GET FROM 'ROUND THEM FOLKS! THEY MEAN YOU NO GOOD!

6. GET ORGANIZED. Period. Point blank. DO IT. NOW.


REMEMBER CHANGE IS HARD BUT AS THE CHANGES BECOMES HABIT, YOU BECOME WHO YOU DREAMT YOU WOULD!

This is for me, as well as you.

3 comments:

  1. I really like this. I need to grow a little personally to be able to do this for others and be have my ego slayed so that it can be reciprocal.

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  2. s.dup2:45 PM

    ase sister girl. i heard this one. i've been thinking about this type of thing for a while. what's the purpose of having people in your life when you're grown if they're not challenging you, inspiring you, and encouraging you to be and do your best. the invitation and permission given to a friend to go there with you is priceless and if there aren't people around that you could trust to do it the way you know you could then..... thanks for posting this NY Poet Girl ;-)

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  3. Bilquis - It takes a lot of self-knowledge to be able to to do this but it also takes understanding friends who are on your level and willing to grow with you.

    S. Dup - Sandrine!! You are most definitely one I would consider as this kind of friend! ASE Sister girl!

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