Sunday, December 18, 2005

The Usual State of Affairs

The usual state of affairs dictates that everything goes according to expectations and everyone is satisfied at the end of the day. To tell the truth, I have never experienced the usual state of affairs. In my life, there is always some measure of drama either created by me (*smile*) or life's little jokes introduced to jump start my existence in some way or direct my path to another place I didn't expect.

I guess that is what it all boils down to though if you think about it. Expectations. What we expect from people determines what we do, if we don't realize that we are meant to do what we feel and know is right - not just respond or react. Take love for instance - a lot of people give what they call "love" based on what they receive or expect to receive from the other party. Love has it's own ideas about that. Once we realize that everyone loves differently and recognize how we love we must then determine whether or not we can accept the way the other party loves us without expectations or projections of our own ways of loving, then and only then can we really experience the reality of love.

That is so much easier said than done. Fear of not getting what you require to feel loved is a part of the expectations we all have but we must remember that we have a choice in love. What about emotions you say?? Well, emotions do play a large part in it, but we have a choice in when we allow our emotions to get involved. Men are GREAT at that, they don't allow their emotions to get involved for quite a while because they are more aware of their choice and exercise their choosing muscles on a frequent basis. Women on the other hand or more accustomed to and apt to utilize their emotions in their decision making process, which in some cases is appropriate but in love these days, we have to learn to use our heads more. Fear and love cannot co-exist because if you fear someone is going to take thier love away, you can't love them - fear becomes the primary emotion.

Every one has the right to their needs and everyone has requirements in thier love lives, jobs, etc. -"he has to be affectionate", "she has to love dogs" etc.... If you are not getting what you require, then you have to move on. Period. Life is too short to keep pining or asking or expecting without getting what you require. Not want but NEED! It is the expectations without conversation that makes it hard...

In our state of affairs today we have to make sure that if they are not business as usual they at least produce what we need to be happy. I have to make sure that I don't press my expectations or how I would do things on my loved ones as well as make sure that I am getting my needs met. There is balance in that statement and balance should be the usual state of affairs not expectations....

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